A Champion of The People

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It's been such a peaceful Sunday. Too bad Persona 3 is giving me too many feels. I'm playing the female route right now and I couldn't seduce Shinji with a clear conscience considering what was inevitably about to happen.

On Friday after college, I decided I wanted to get my tongue pierced and I wanted it done NOW. My new place charges a whole £20 for a tongue and by chance, my old place was having a sale on. Because my phone was pretty much dead, I had to wait until yesterday to get it done. I finally got around to watching Brotherhood before I left the house.

It was £15 in town so long as you gave £2 to charity. What's £3? Charity's involved, that's what! So I went there and sat down on their bed thingy. I was a bit apprehensive since I didn't recognise any of the staff this time. An apprentice watched as I had the whole thing done. I told the man to make it a little further back on my tongue. I'm not sure if he noticed but because of the way my jaws are shaped and the size of my tongue, if it was in any other place, it could be really annoying to manage.

After that needle went through, I felt like I was in some kind of trance lol. Seriously, I felt weirdly sluggish all of a sudden and it was like it took me extra energy to thank all the staff.

The pain though! It really didn't hurt as much as biting your tongue like people say. But the pain afterwards was pretty brutal. It felt like a combination of someone pinching you in the sensitive spot under your tongue (since that's where the piercing is and everything) and muscle cramp after you've gone hard in the gym for about two days straight. I still tried to eat when I got back. I threw one almond in my mouth and straight away realised I made a big mistake lol.

I read the morning after can be more painful than day one but it actually wasn't that bad! A piece of biscuit at 12-ish did make the pain worse, but after taking an ibuprofen and waiting a couple more hours, I was fine having my Sunday dinner of spinach, cabbage and tomatoey meatballs! I can stick my tongue out and wiggle it without any problems.

Now all I want to guess is how long before anyone notices I got it done lol. I told one friend and that's it. If it heals this quickly then chances are nobody will find out unless I mention it. There's one person I bet will spot it though because nothing seems to ever get past him. Everyone else will either notice and not say anything or won't notice at all!

A guy I get along with at college and I kind of got into a deep conversation. So our mutual friend started telling us something really personal and even thought she didn't cry or anything, I can tell she was fighting back tears. I don't know what to do in those situations but he seemed to be able to handle it well enough. So I asked him: "Do you feel awkward when other people get really emotional?"

He answered in a way I wouldn't have expected him to. This guy is always cheerful and ambitious and I know he can get serious when he needs to but his answer was really deep. He started talking about how he judges based on how significant their problems are and if it's a first-world problem, he'll just tell them to get over it. It was a lot colder than what I expected him to say and he ended up going slightly off-topic by telling me he'd seen all sorts of effed up situations across the world and that you could always look and think "These people have it worse." For a kid with money, that was deep af.

Then he started talking about how people brag about how much money they have and etc., especially in music and I mentioned conscious rap. He said that at the end of the day, these artists really only care about themselves and how much money they have and their families. They don't care about their community as a whole and that's why he doesn't go to concerts and that. This guy is Asian and the conversation, to me, started to go into 'Black Problems' territory so I just thought about his words as they were. I'm not one to talk about black problems to someone who isn't black lol.

Black people, Americans in particular, grow up in some effed up environments. The difference between us and other races is that there's a common theme of it being 'Black vs The System'. We generally don't believe that it's possible to work our way up by getting a degree and a credible profession because black people are less likely to be hired and more likely to be though to of as stupid and lazy - something we know.

When I see rappers brag about the money they've made, the original brag rappers sounded like they were saying: "Ha! You said I would never amount to nothing. Yet, here I am with my Rolex watches, all the women throwing themselves at me, a big house and the most expensive sports cars doing something that I genuinely love! My mom raised me through all of this without my father, so I will keep mentioning how grateful I am to her. My friends had my back growing up when we were all struggling financially, so I will forever love them. Here's to the future!"

Do I think rappers are selfish for only supporting their own? Not necessarily. These are the original people who supported them since day one. It's not hard for me to understand why they are put on a pedestal constantly by rappers across America and even in the UK.

New school rappers are a bit different. Some of them already came from cosy middle class backgrounds. Of course, they may feel indebted to somebody somewhere but not in the same way these 'hood' rappers are. They had nice upbringings, some of them went to private schools - they just make money off the 'street' image and don't even have the courtesy to then support the people who are actually living the lifestyles they inadvertently promote. That's where I draw the line.

I do, however, think that it's very important for rappers and artists to give back to the community where they came from. I look around Birmingham even and see the crashing economy at its finest. Dead shops, empty houses, destroyed parks, closed youth clubs... It just carries on throughout the whole of East Birmingham and I'm sure the other sides have exactly the same problems. Imagine now if Birmingham had few more notable faces. I'm sure Jaykae and Lady Leshurr are comfy, but nowhere near the level that Kanye is to Chicago. So imagine we had our own equivalent to Kanye or Jay-Z and they started putting money towards reviving the place. That would be the sort of Birmingham I'd actually consider staying in long-term. A Birmingham where you can see things grow instead of collapse.

I know, all this from me trying to ask how to be a more sensitive person lol. That guy is full of surprises. But I bet you he'll be the last person to notice my piercing still!


Bravely Battling Boredom

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Happy 2018 everyone! I can't believe it's been 8 years since the 10s started. We're practically in the New Roaring 20s. 100 years since the flapper girl era... Jesus, we're moving too fast!

It's New Years Day and I'm feeling inactive. I wanted to put my make-up on and hop on a next bus but nope, pretty much everywhere is going to be closed today. Everywhere except the corner shop. Well, I was feeling like picking up some ginger beer!

These past couple of weeks have had some faux Christmassy weather. We had snow up until literally the day before Christmas and then it started falling again on Boxing Day evening. It was snowing again for about half an hour this morning while I was frying some mushrooms. Typical Britain. Most people react to the snow, but I get over it unless it sets.

How I've was stressing right up until December 22nd over an assignment I had to hand in and now I'm feeling... Professionally bored. Last year, I was working a time and a half or double pay but today, I'm wasting a day doing absolutely nothing when I'm actually in the mood for sitting down and making some money!

Apart from the Paigey Cakey vs Leshurr drama and Uncle Murda's Rap Up 2017, I have no means of new entertainment right now. Remember how I said I don't get hangovers? Well after yesterday, all I want is another night out and something to do!

A big part of me feels like I'm losing at something and I don't like it. It's like there's something I'm oblivious to that I really should know. My mind is fully functioning today and the idea of taking a break on a day like this goes against how I'm feeling right now.

I should sit down and make some plans for 2018 and finish my virtual training instead of sitting around feeling on edge! There are things I can do well while I've got time to spare now since I'm not in a leisurely mood.

Do you ever feel like social media is a curse? I mean, when you see who likes or doesn't like certain things, don't you learn something about another person you wouldn't naturally? In 1980, if it never came up in conversation, you probably wouldn't even know what a person thinks about when they're alone yet Instagram lets you look at what your friends are liking in quick time. I think it's strange and borderline invasive in a sort of genius way.

I watched a Lovelyti video where she mentioned the people behind Facebook (not likely Zuckerberg, because let's face it...) used psychologists to find a way for people to be addicted. Getting likes releases endorphin and not getting enough likes can lead to depression and all that. It was a planned phenomenon that they've been banking on through Instagram now as well. They laugh at the idea of social media becoming part of a mental health diagnosis, but it sounds plausible if Facebook Incorporated actually intended to make people addicted to likes.


Gals and Tattoos!

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There seems to be a trend of former or current AV kurogals becoming extreme tattoo addicts. I love the tattoos a lot of them get but I can't stop thinking about ties to the Yakuza (they own the AV industry, ennit) and whether there's some trend on the street or just between this group of gals.

I follow Izumi Mana on Instagram and love her tattoos. I've followed Izumi Mana since before her tattooing days and sometimes can't believe she's still the same person. She seems to never stop going under the needle lol. She works at a tattoo parlour (I think) but every time I look at my Insta feed, she's getting another tattoo done somewhere.

I'm not sure how long ago these selfies were taken, but she's saying how she feels old now that she's nearly 30 and posted these earlier this year lol.

一昨日また @lianje.beauty さんの小顔矯正2回目に行って来たよ💓 前回と同じメニューの小顔矯正+ヘッドスパ+デコルテと今回はオプションでフェイシャルパックつけてみたよ😘 グアムで日焼けして乾燥BBAだから保湿効果の高い海のミネラルパックをセレクト🌺 最近毛穴がまじで開いてきてるし、ほうれい線ヤバくて😂 でもかなり毛穴が引き締まったしほうれい線目立たなくなった🤘🏾🎉 今回も担当はまなみちゃん💋 ほんと天然キャラでほわほわしてて面白いから指名してみて😂💜 私のインスタ見て来てくれた子が何人もいたみたいで嬉しい🤤 オススメだから是非行って見てね🙆 2.3枚目の写真はNO加工だよ👍 また2週間後に行かなくてわ🤑 #lianjebeauty #小顔矯正 #ドライヘッドスパ #フェイシャルパック #池袋 #池袋北口
A post shared by 💜🌹泉麻那 🌹💜 (@izumana19890629) on

This is a set of recent selfies showing off some of her tattoos. That one going around her neck is her most recent.

Aika is somebody I only found out about in this Instagram age so I don't really know what she looked like before. Her and Manatan hang around each other a lot and have similar make-up. One thing I like about Japan is you can tell who's friends with who based on their style. Friend groups influence each other more directly than they do in England.

Iijima Kuga is somebody I saw on my feed but didn't know who she was. Her tattoos are much more traditional and Yankii style. She's another AV actress too. I think she was a former yankii, turned gyaru. On the cover to one of her AVs, she's looking more yankii but looks gyaru in her normal selfies.

A post shared by 飯島くうが (@iijima_kuga) on

She posted this recently. It looks like one of her throwback videos.

A post shared by 飯島くうが (@iijima_kuga) on

I really like the tiger she has on her belly and the flowers on her right arm. They're very traditional Japanese tattoos that are completely different to the ones Manatan has.

Outside of Instagram, I've been looking at SoulJapan's Tattoo Gals series. It features a few models showing off their tattoos. The most recent shoot is from Bavy.

These are some of my favourite from the other women. I've linked all of them in case anyone wants to see the rest.

Even Manatan herself had a shoot with them. 


New Year's Resolutions!

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How is it already December? Who decided that the year should go so quickly? It only sank in when Uncle Murda's Rap Up 2016 came on my Spotify 2017 playlist as I sat staring at the Christmas tree. I sat there and just smiled. He needs to do a 2017 version - I'm not joking. Has it really been a year since Blac Chyna robbed Rob's eggos?

So many things in my life have change, for better or for worse. I never would have guessed that I'd be doing law instead of hairdressing or that I'd be doing security work instead of selling Armani tracksuits. That I'd start agreeing that bottom lashes are outdated and unnecessary. That 15mm is actually too big for circle lenses.

I've decided a few things I want for the new year. I'm always pretty chill and make resolutions that I won't mind not quite meeting or having a good go at for most of the year. But this year, I'm going to be the big 2-0. I want to 100% aim to do my resolutions and this time, I'll be stricter!

1. Weigh 13 stone at the heaviest by the end of the year. I've already lost around 2 stone since I started doing keto a couple months back and my weight loss has slowed right the way down. I want to put more effort into weight loss since I'm not some ronin (as in wondering samurai but could be the failed student type too lol) with no idea what she wants to do anymore. I want to be wearing a UK 10 by the time the year's done and it seems like a very reasonable goal too since I've gone down a size and a half in just two months and 2017 isn't even over yet.

2. Get into a good uni. My UCAS is all sent off. I have a back-up uni that I plan to not go to. Anywhere but there. Seriously. It was just a back-up option! If I fail, I might even go on for the next year depending on how bad I do.

3. Stay in bloody ketosis. To be fair, I've had little temptation. The past couple months, I've stayed right in ketosis. I had a piece of cake yesterday and didn't wake up with a banging headache, so maybe I'm still in? I don't know. But this is technically a sub-resolution to Resolution 1. But weight loss or not, I have insulin resistance and can't go carb crazy even if I was 8 stone.

4. De-lazy yourself. I'm doing a good job at this already. My hair's done up again and I intend for it to stay done up. I'm doing my make-up near enough everyday and I'm sorting out my clothes (even more than usual) so that I can look at least somewhat put together in this hellish season. This basically means, spend more money on not just clothes you like, but clothes you like that are practical!

5. Learn more Spanish. I blame reggaeton. I was learning Portuguese this year but wondered exactly what I need the language for again. I can go to Brazil and learn the language there if need be. I need to understand Spanish more urgently. Online comments in Spanish, reggaeton music, all the inside jokes on American shows between Spanish speakers. I want to know! All I can do is count to twelve and say my name!

6. Quit personality theory. It's gotten old. I'm going to stop talking about 7s and 8s and ESTPs come 2018. I'll only talk about it if someone else brings it up. I see people saying they want to use it to understand other people. If anything, I want to use it to understand myself more. But three years in and I've only found out that what I've been struggling with is Fi as my Point of Least Resistance. I'm leaving it there - it's done. Nobody cares.

7. Get that tattoo. I want the Crest of Courage on my wrist. I've wanted it lowkey for aaages but was against the idea of getting a tattoo. Now I've warmed to the idea, I want to get it done between now and my 20th. I'm somewhere between Courage and Purity. I looked online for a combination of the two crests and can't find a good one. I can think of one in my mind, but I'll need to get the tattoo guy to do a good sketch for me first. I want to go somewhere they can do it properly. I don't want my first and such a meaningful tattoo to come out looking like shite. I want a few more ear piercings too. Two conch rings and a helix ring. I got my first helix done last month and I think I might just get a conch and helix done before a final conch and then change them to rings when they all heal.... or I could get one of them clip-on ones lol.

8. Pink hair for 2017 2018! Because of my poorness, I wasn't able to do this one in 2017. Looks like I'll have to carry that one on for next year! I still want orange hair too! I'll save up and get me a couple wigs.

I guess that's it! A lot of my 2017 resolutions relied on future paychecks that I never got. So 2018 is more about the things I can do with my own two hands. Lose more weight, become less lazy, get that tattoo (like only £40) and things that don't really require upkeep or money.

It's probably because I'm mostly happy with where I am right now. There's something else I want before 2018, but obviously I can't add that to the list!


Wood in the Wood

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So, everyone in this end of Birmingham had been wondering if the rumours were true. Solihull claimed it was and anyone within the Kingshurst/Chelmsley Wood area would have seen the posters. Max Branning was coming to Chelmsley Wood shopping centre for Christmas.

I assumed it was the council's ploy to get people spending money there. I thought "Why exactly would he come all the way from London just to go to Chelmsley Wood in Birmingham?"

Just so you can understand why it would be so shocking, Chelmsley Wood is known as being a working class and pretty much dead area. It used to be a place with a bustling shopping centre and lots of new buildings. Now, it's somewhere known for crackheads and alcoholics. It gets a lot of bad rep but Chelmsley is my second home so I love it anyway.

My feet were freezing in my Adidas trainers. Apparently, it was 4 degrees (Celsius) today. As I stood in the cold, all I could think about was my wooly boots back home. Jake Wood showed up and took pictures with a few people before he and Olaf (yes, that Olaf) turned the lights on. Because it's Chelmsley Wood, the lights were a bit underwhelming. Maybe it was because I see them every year? I dunno.

I went around behind two families to get a photo. Soooo many people insisted on bringing their prams into the crowd. Every time I took a step back, I was nearly falling onto somebody's kid. And when they weren't in buggies, they were on their parent's backs so I couldn't see!

Jake was literally about to carry on past me after taking selfies with the two families in front of me but I called out to him and he turned around! I just kept saying "Thank you! Thank you!" like some kind of Eastenders fangirl lol. He took the phone for me and changed it to landscape. I don't know why he did that but either way, it was a good photo and I'm happy he came back to take that selfie with me because I wasn't about to barge a bunch of kids out the way!

Never in my life would I have expected him to come to C-Wood. I don't know if someone at the council blackmailed him or if he secretly had C-Wooder heritage, but I still don't understand why he chose to come to this place! Either way, I'm happy I got to have a selfie with him - and such a good one at that.

P.S. I can tell I've lost sooo much weight when I look at my newer selfies! I have pictures of myself when I went to see Drake and my face was just sooo round and completely different. Now, you can see my jawline and cheekbones again lol.

Is 2017 Already Over!?

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I asked my friend the exact same question yesterday. I don't know where the days went; all I know is that I'm far from the same person I was when the year began.

I went into 2017 as a hairdresser with no idea what she really wanted and already given up on the dream of going to university for that very reason. I also had a part-time job at a certain sportswear store. I was determined to being kept on for a permanent position because getting a paycheck every week gave me LIFE. I was used to saving up the money I was meant to spend on food for the week if I wanted anything because I didn't get pocket money. Getting £100 or so a week for spending time pretending to busy on a shop floor was better than spending it sitting around looking for things to do while being broke and bored. I also really loved liquorice.

2018 is now around the corner and I'm a law student who wants to work hard to become one of the first black female judges in her country. I have a completely different set of friends from the ones I had when 2017 started with all the neglectful and/or negative friends off somewhere doing something because I decided I don't really care for anyone who tries to bring me down. My hair is no longer half blonde and is now half ginger and brown highlights. I'm also almost two stone lighter than when I went into 2018, even though I did initially gain and lose some weight at the start of the year. I still love liquorice, but I've had to swap it for almonds as I'm no longer about that carb life. The weight still continues to drop off but this time, my arms feel like solid rocks!

Since I got a Persona 4 Golden for Christmas last year, most of my spare time, when I haven't been either out with friends or doing these law assignments, has been spent playing or obsessing over Persona games. In 2017, I was all about that Digimon nostalgia thanks to Digimon Adventure Tri - a series I still haven't caught up with yet because I'm too busy watching Persona 4 or playing Persona 3 Portable when I have the time. I've never felt like duh-nuh-dun-nuh-nuh before. The Persona series is my new favourite franchise.

Rihanna became a part of 2017. When I wasn't trying to grab her Puma slides on sale, I was trying to scrape the money together so that I could go and buy my shade of foundation at Harvey Nichols - a place I don't even think I'd been in before. Now, I'm gonna be a regular at that bougie-arse place.

I went into 2017 employed and the was unemployed for the majority of it. Very recently, I've been successful at a few things that will hopefully be permanent. Even though I enjoyed my old job, these new jobs will give me a lot of opportunities I probably wouldn't have gotten in my old job. My head is thinking about progressing academically now rather than just getting my NVQs so I could work at a salon somewhere.

Before this year, I had a strange tolerance to alcohol. I found out it's a common symptom of raging insulin resistance. Apparently, alcohol has to reverse something in insulin resistance before you can get drunk off alcohol. In 2017, I experienced my first drunken adventures and found that I still don't get hangovers or memory lapses no matter how much I drink.

I think I've became a lot more generous this year. I am selfish. I still am. It's just these past few months, I've actively gone out of my way to help people on more than one occasion in a way I haven't since maybe primary school? I would always tell people their strong points and give them words of encouragement and I'm starting to do all that again now that I'm in a better place.

As I said, I used to spoil myself with liquorice. I would buy one bag of the Panda liquorice and one of the Klene ones from the pound shop every time I went to replace my charger (the only thing Apple can't get right - always bloody breaking). I'd eat cereal if I had breakfast - normally Cheerios or Corn Flakes. I loved to make scrambled eggs in the morning, but had to hide all traces of it because my mum would screw at me if I ate all 6 eggs in a week. For my take-away treat, I'd buy a pizza and chips with a fizzy Rubicon.

Now, I don't have breakfast 90% of the time and if I do... It's still eggs lol. Except this time, I can easily convince my mum to allow it if I get a 15-pack. All I ever eat are some sort of salads. Cheddar, chicken or pork and iceburg lettuce. Some butternut squash and cabbage too. The weight falls off while I eat five rashers of bacon and 120 calories worth of cheese. Yet my body would store weight if I had a slice toast and a ham sandwich all week.

My looks have transformed too, without me noticing. I can feel my hip-bones sticking out again when I lie down. My arms look like I work out when the most I do since my gym membership ran out is carry my bag and folder around college. The hyper-pigmentation across my neck has faded a lot since I cut out carbs. My skin went through a dodgy stage this year. One little spot was enough to make me panic lol. Now, it's back to normal and my skin colour's more even. My hair is growing back at warpspeed. It's sooo healthy now and any traces of blonde are already gone! I wish the back would grow a bit quicker though because it looks like I'm growing out a short back and sides!

I've looked at my resolutions and thought about whether I did them or not.

1. Get some good hair - Didn't get the chance since I've been out of work. I still have that old Aliexpress wig but I have little to no desire of wearing it lol. I might give it to my sister instead.

2. Find your dream/ideal style - stick to it - This is me telling myself to find a style of clothing to fill my wardrobe with since I have bits and pieces from different genres but nothing that I can put together. I went from sporty at the top of the year to tropical and then to anything that's pink. My wardrobe is full of things that are either too big or quite old but I can wear them again.

3. Go gym at least 3-4 times a week - I did. Until I got a personal trainer half way through the year. And then nothing lol.

4. Forget about any past situations that prevented you from succeeding in the past. Literally, you don't remember them anymore - not even to brag about how you've changed - I was thinking to myself how I briefly remember going through something from my Facebook memories but couldn't figure out exactly what happened to get me so stressed.

5. Find something you really want to do and work towards it - BINGO!

6. Don't eat when/what you don't want to - carry suitable snacks for when sugar goes low. BM Bargains sells dried fruit too - you don't need to eat a meal 3 times a day just because Theresa May says so. Snack if you need to snack, meal if you need to meal. Don't force it unless it's Sunday. - Poor me worrying about my low sugar levels lol. The doctors were clearly trying to kill me. Now my body doesn't rely on sugar, I don't get those shakes and weird headaches any more.

7. Write some bars at least once a week. Anytime you're feeling some type of way, write things down. It's against your personality but at least give it a try. - It very much was against my personality lol. I've tried to write bars consistently but I can't do it. I'd rather put my writing energy towards my essays and blog now anyway. I need to write something new again. Best thing I wrote this year was my Kendrick DNA remix hands down.

8. Keep cheerful until it comes back. Remember when you never used to think? Bring them times back. - I don't even remember when I did think! What did I have to think about when I had my job? Oh yeah, negative friends lol. I don't think anymore.

9. You have goals but you are who you are. Don't try to change the impossible. There's no such thing as a 'perfect self'. Just because you're not lead by morals, don't think you can't have a perfectionist side. - Surprisingly true. I'm selfish, overly flexible, self-centred, ho-ish and indulgent. I've always thought back to when I wasn't like that and wondered if I'm the same person like it's impossible for me to change. Despite this, I still want what's best for myself and I'm not afraid to aim for it.

10. Start waking up early enough to do your make-up again (6:30-6:45) Proper galify yourself again like you used to. Just because you feel like breezing through college, don't mean you can't look how you want to. - Amen to that. I don't need to wake up that early to do a full face anymore, but I do like looking nice to college. Especially since I'm around men now *sneaky face*.

It's time for me to start thinking about new resolutions already. Knowing me, I'll decide them right as Big Ben starts chiming for the New Year. There are some things I very much want now but I refuse to wait until the new year to get them!


My Relationship With Optimism

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So, one thing people always find strange is that I can directly state everything that's going wrong and still manage to say something positive. Not blindly optimistic positive, but a 'let's move forward positive'.

Trust me, my life has gone in all types of directions. There hasn't been one point in my life where I can say something was stable. My education, my social life, health, family life - nothing. One thing that seems to have been constantly in my mind is my willpower.

I wanted to call this 'My Guide to Optimism' but I couldn't exactly 'guide' someone about being optimistic when that's naturally how I am. Whenever I have a setback, I might feel annoyed about it but there's something inside my mind that allows me to bounce back every time. My mind doesn't allow itself to stay negative. My mind prioritises irritability, impatience and criticism over things like sadness and worry.

They say people like me (Enneagram 7w8) can distract ourselves with anything positive. We sometimes neglect our responsibilities because our enjoyment and self-fulfilment are top priority. I mostly agree with that, but I can still be a very responsible person if I have to.

When something bad happens to me, my mind tries to distract me and everyone around me from the extreme emotions it can cause. I try to bring a positive and light-hearted attitude wherever I go and can get aggressive if it's anything other than high-energy or full enjoyment. I don't mind sitting back and having a sesh in someone's yard, but I thrive in high-energy environments with lots of other people and/or full participation from the people I'm with. My problem is I can't create those environments on my own, so I try my hardest by almost playing up my reactions to things so that other people feed off my energy.

Whenever I go out, I plan to use us all the energy I brought out with me. I don't feel fully satisfied until I have spilled all my energy out and helped the people in my group do the same. It can backfire if the other people didn't enjoy the outing, but then that gives me a motive to go out again. "I will make this person have a good night!". One of the best things I can hear is "I needed a laugh!" after I've entertained everyone with my nonsense.

If I sense for a second that someone is feeling down, I'll try to cheer them up. A part of me tells myself that I only do it for selfish reasons - I don't like negativity. Another part of me says I must secretly care for people. Either way, I like to impose my positive energy on other people if they're near me. I've pissed off chronic grumps, ended up with negative friends and just basically became a nosy, obnoxious person who picks up strays.

During times of adversity, I keep positive by looking for a solution. I don't prioritise peace of mind so I can looked really scattered to other people. Things can't drag me down easily because I'm a natural troubleshooter. That's why I struggle to understand people who wallow in their own self-pity. One of my favourite things about myself is my ability to deal with things and bounce back. When I see another person allow their problems - ones that are easily solvable - drag them through the dirt, I wonder why they hate themselves so much.

Another thing that seems to pick me up when I'm down, apart from myself, is music. Music is a massive part of my life. All I need is to hear the first chord or word of a song I like and my mood improves 200%. Say I'm sitting at home feeling tired and an advert comes on. All I need is the first note from Kendrick's HUMBLE and I'm suddenly cured. Seriously, music makes me feel some type of way. Put on a good track and I feel like I could take on a whole army.

Despite all this, I am very mood-swingy. I can get irritated and vocal as quickly as I can be cheered up but it takes a certain amount of stupid to actually make me mad. And even that I turn into some kind of sport. If I get into a fight, everyone around me turns into an audience. My aim is to either humiliate or defeat the other person and have the crowd cheer. I don't know why I seem to think that every fight is like a rap battle, but I do! That's why I like debating in lessons so much. I like to hear another person's opinion and be able to argue my view without any long-lasting damage.

If someone asked me: "Bubblee, how do you stay so positive?", I'd probably say: "It's just how I am. I love life and I love doing stuff. I know things ent that bad as long as I can still do things.". I would say my temperament is something Choleric-Sanguine. I very much like to do things and can be very aggressive at times but first and foremost, I like to enjoy myself.

P.S.: When I heard the beat to Queen Bitch, I went maaaaad.
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